It's our family motto: moderation in nothing. It applies to so many things I've jumped into head first in this life. In my crafty phase, I didn't just make a quilt, I made a quilt that had 99 pieces per 12 inch square (25 in all) for a friend's wedding. My first road race when I started running was a 20-miler. I impulse bought my first "real" car, and just 2 months later my first home. Moderation in nothing.
The thing about our motto, though... well, it can kinda come back and bite me in the butt. The quilt I made for Annie & Kevin as a wedding gift? It took 4 months of sewing every single day. When it was completed, I hated all things "crafty", and I have not sewed a single stitch since. Next year they will have been married for 20 years.
My first road race was the Old Town 20-miler. It was supposed to be the Marine Corps Marathon 4 weeks later, but I got spooked by the 13,000 people who would be running it and decided that perhaps I should dip my foot in the water before I was on the road with that many other crazies. It taught me where my wall is: 18 miles. At 18 miles in the Old Town 20-miler, I begged my friend Patricia to go get the car and drive me home. She made me walk in. At 18 miles in the Marine Corp Marathon 4 weeks later, I stood in front of the Jefferson Memorial bent in half. When a very kind, very young Marine tapped me on the shoulder to see if I was okay, I stood up too quickly and threw up... all over that poor kid's shoes. Moderation in nothing, indeed.
My first "real" car is sitting in the driveway of my rented home in Seattle. It's 11 years old now, and because I don't want a car payment I very well may drive it until the wheels fall off. The first home, when I sold it, paid for graduate school. Not all things that I jump into head first are necessarily bad things.
Two and half years ago, having started running again at 40, joined Weight Watchers, and lost 43 pounds. I diligently went to meetings, counted points, and logged lots and lots of lots of miles running around Green Lake. And then it just... stopped. My weight has fluctuated roughly 5 pounds in any direction since then, no matter what I do. I hired a trainer who I've seen 3 days a week for the last 18 months; I rejoined Weight Watchers; I joined Cross Fit (and kept my trainer on the side); I got mono and didn't work out for 3 months; I ate whatever I wanted on my Hawiaan vacation... and the damn scale refuses to budge. It's absolutely maddening.
So today I started into my next great experiment with moderation in nothing. I'm going to RE-TRY vegetarianism for the 2nd time in my life. The difference? Well, let's talk about the first time.
The first time I decided to be a vegetarian, I was in my mid-20's, running 40 miles a week, going to 5 Jazzercise classes a week, and no matter what I did -- the scale would not budge. I read a diet book by Dean Ornish about reversing heart disease through a strict vegetarian diet -- and then I took the good doctor's advice and one-upped him. I went completely vegan, and refused to eat anything with countable fat. I dropped about 40 pounds in 3 months to the lowest weight I've been in my adult life. I was at 15% body fat, and not only owned, but could proudly wear the ugliest pair of size 4 pink shorts you've ever seen in your life. My doctor told me I was too thin, and I was COMPLETELY elated. ("A little louder, and into this microphone, please?!")
I was a very unhealthy vegan for the 4 1/2 years that I maintained it. I didn't eat enough protein, and stuck mostly to vegetables, avoiding fruit. I didn't care for tofu, and got kinda sick of eating beans & rice after a while. I got addicted to hummus & pita, white rice, and eventually fried vegetables. I started to gain back the weight I'd lost. I stopped running. I surpassed the weight I'd lost. Then I decided it must be the whole "vegan thing" and started reintroducing meat. It took me a year. I told people I started eating meat again because I got hungry, but the truth was that I'd just been really, really bored with the diet. That was 14 years ago.
What's different this time? Well... a lot, and then really not much at all. I am the fittest I've been in a decade, and yet I am 39.8 pounds more than I'd like to be carrying around. Like all those years ago in my 20's, the amount of excercise I'm getting does not seem to have any impact on my weight whatsoever, though I have seen my proportions change. I've been following the Weight Watchers diet for the past 2.5 years, and as far as I can tell -- I have the maintenance phase down pat.
So the experiment this time... keeping in mind that our family's motto is "moderation in nothing"... 6 weeks of a strict vegan diet. No meat, no dairy, no gluten, and no refined sugar. That leaves fruit, vegetables, whole grains, tofu, tempeh, oils and probably a bunch of stuff I've not yet discovered. Why six weeks? I'm not sure I can commit to 3 months. And our annual corporate getaway is 6 weeks away. I've got a pretty little hot pink dress (a size 12, not 4) that I'd like to wear.
So it's day 1. I've made it through the day without eating meat, dairy, gluten or refined sugar. I spent $19.18 at Whole Paycheck during my lunch hour at the salad bar and on guilt-free, gluten free, refined sugar free brownie bits. I grocery shopped on the way home and bought my first 1/2 gallon of soy milk (nope, I didn't drink it when I was a vegan before). I loaded up on fresh veggies, fruit, steel cut oats, whole grain rice and red beans. And tofu and tempeh, though it remains to be seen whether or not it will actually be consumed.
How do I feel? Honestly, I'm not sure. Fine I guess. I've learned a few things:
- Gardenburgers have mozzarella cheese in them. They were the one thing I thought I could could eat out of my freezer... turns out, not so much.
- Guilt-free brownie bits are remarkably similar to the brownies my Mom made for my 25th birthday that were sweetened with baby food plums and completely off limits to everyone else in my family. They were delicious, and lasted a week. These will also last a week -- they're so sweet that one has to eat them in moderation (ironic, I know).
- I'm already cranky. I'm hoping that as I level out over the next few days and figure out a better plan for food (and learn how to cook it), that will go away.
And I'm not giving up caffeine. For now.
39.8 pounds to go.
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